25 Nov 2006

Fitness Frenzy

It was just my luck.

My friend and office colleague went window shopping in a mall, and visited Celebrity Fitness (CF) promotion stand. After she has been coaxed into joining the club by a high-spirited super- enthusiastic CF salesperson, she put my name on the list of people should be informed, telephoned, SMSed, invited, offered free trial and all special packages, an opportunity of a lifetime - by high-spirited super-enthusiastic CF salesperson.


Then the pursuit started. I was being called, SMSed few times a day, rain and shine. If I managed to shrug-off one high-spirited super-enthusiastic CF salesperson, another high-spirited super-enthusiastic CF salesperson would called me in the same frequency, with the same talk, the same offer, a gift and chance that I should not miss, or I will be irresponsible and neglecting my health, exposing it to the high-risks of cholesterol and fat, cardiac arrest, and passing off the chance to improve my sagging and overweight bod to a robust-chest triangle shaped bod, with chance to achieve a beautiful six packs if I have what it takes. I would lose all those unnecessary bags that make me
tidak pede in swimsuits, lingeries and thongs.

The risk of cardiac arrest frighten me, since there have been many muds and muddy things that get on my nerves lately. I haven't scaled down my calories and fat intakes, what else - Indonesia santanized foods are so good.

So I walked to the nearest CF, and immediately being attended by a high-spirited super-enthusiastic CF salesperson who showed me all facilities and explained to me the chart how I could improve my flat and un-exciting life to the level of begitu bahagia in 9-12 months.

He explained that I've been offered a life opportunity that he only charged me some Rp 231,000 for administration and Rp 479,000 something a month which other people paid millions 2-3 months a go. If my skeptic hubby is willing to join, he will give me special treatment in form couple membership, the same condition and fee times two (no, I did not hear wrongly).

His boss was called upon when I didn't take the bait as conversation started to drag, and the expatriate guy, whose selling skill is actually rate only a quarter to our local high-spirited super-enthusiastic CF salesperson but with authority to give discounts that I need. He splashed in a generous waive of administration fee for the second entry - specially and offered only to me because he likes me so much.

I was not that flattered, but I did sign-up because, what-else, the fright of cardiac arrest.

After my credit card is being tied to a one year membership and monthly charge, I was introduced to the all muscles toned chief trainer for a deeper pocket-dig. I was shown a picture of woman twice my size, who with support of high-spirited super-enthusiastic CF Personal Trainers, has amazingly shed her weight to half my size in unbelievable short span. He told me the cost is just a mere Rp 250,000-300,000/session - and well, of course he would give me discount so I could only need to pay Rp 175,000-225,000/session depend on combo I choose, which only valid for today.

I used to join health club operated by Clark-Hatch and Joanne Drew, offered mainly by hotels and part of hotel facilities. And also that club in West Jakarta with huge swimming-pool, hot whirlpool and cold plunge, where your every cents worth. The services are standard to good, with ambience and experience as if we are walking into community club and exercising in our community yards.

Today's health-clubs are more feisty and modern, with many TV screens, endless techno-music and phosphoric lightings similar to nightclub and bar. They operate in malls with expensive rental of hundred dollars per-sqm, with those enormous 18 hours/day non-stop electric consumption and exorbitant investment costs of equipments and decorations - the marketing approaches are way too aggressive and most of time, harrassing.

In less than a month, I've been phoned by a high-spirited super- enthusiastic CF salesperson again, offering another special deal for me to improve to Platinum bla-bla-bla. And these diehards seem take turns in calling me, sending sms and leaving messages on my mobile that I should make the booking today before late. While actually every months there are always new offers and promos under the sun.

I haven't even joined for 2 weeks and worked-out more than 5 times, and I've been offered to pay 2 years membership fees upfront to get 4 years membership.

In the launch of the outlet in PIM on Sep 2005, CF boasted 11,000 membership in 9 months operating. Divided by about 5-6 existed clubs at that period, one club may have 1,800-2,200 members perclub. My high-spirited super- enthusiastic CF salesperson told me that the outlet where I join has 2,700 members. And they keep recruiting and recruiting.

Once, during the peak hours of 7-9 pm, the club was so full that most of cardio-equipments were occupied and I had to queue. It was so crowded like Sea-World on the first opening day that I lost my mood to exercise and even for shower, I had to queue. The dispensers were ran out of supply, toilets not flushed and trashes scattered un-attended in changing rooms. The smells of sweat were thick in the air while people barely abled to walk around without being bumped by others.

The club was only some 2,000 sqm. If the equipments are some 150 pieces and one person occupy 2-3 sqm of gym - it could only fit 300-400 visitors at the same time. If the turn-up ratio is 20%, would it be sufficient for 540 members ? Frankly speaking, everytime they announce bigger membership base, everytime I feel that my convenience and interests are being compromised.

The earlier entrees are being discriminated. As more promos and discounts being created and offered - not only that they have paid higher for what discounted today, they also have to put up with larger crowds and lower comforts, as the service quality decline with each additional masses.

The marketing system with commissions for salespersons turn them into relentless team and individual with single aim to bait customers into their webs, you would be chased ferociously and once you have succumbed to the maximum - Platinum, Diamond, lifetime membership, you are of no use anymore. Just queue for towel like communist folks while the crowds grow and personal spaces narrowed.

Once I asked my nephew to accompany me to exercise in EX. He shrugged me off, saying that he has been to the club with his friend - who tried to recruit him for extra CF hat. I was petrified. My 17 years old dependent nephew, whose most healthy sport activities should have been provided by school facilities and extra-curricullars, is target of CF suckers too ? He told me that many of his friends have been members, and he may have to be members too if he wants to keep hang-out with them in cafes next to the clubs - the kind of peer pressures that could send teenagers to devastation and a gulp of Dettol . It has become more and more expensive raising kids nowadays.

If they renovate and replace worn-out equipments it is for the sake of attracting new members. In their calculative world sometimes they make blunders like what happened to one reader in detik.com. Would there be transparency and guarantee at what maximum members they are going to stop marketing for the sake of earlier customers ?

And, oh, in that crowd would we still be able to cuci-mata, beside there are really not many celebrities or celebrity look-alikes. Or all of us are non-celebrities and non-celebrity look-alikes being fooled into believing chances to see any.

Plus that whatchamallit Malaysian model looks more like the daughter of YongTaufu seller in Ampang Jaya hawker centre rather than somebody really exercise.

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